Local Kink

Communication? Again? But, of course!

2012-01-15T22:50:00.004+08:00

Good-o!

All's been resolved and my heart is at peace.

I've met my Master twice since that last post. Have told Sir that I trust him not to physically harm me, but I am only just learning to trust him emotionally. An unexpected (but perhaps not) development of our playing so quickly upon getting to know each other.

However, after we talked about miscommunications and differing perceptions, I think we have a better idea of each other's personalities. And I like it! He is quickly becoming very important to me and a large part of that is because he's a great communicator.

Onwards and upwards, wahey!

I need to talk more

2012-01-13T07:45:00.002+08:00

I know I resurrected this blog as a sounding board for my thoughts and concerns. After being alone for so long, it is difficult for me to tell what is pertinent to submissives in general, and what is private to me.

However, I now face a dilemma : my Master is from the UK and when home, he has a small select circle he plays with. He also had a partner/girlfriend/sub who only played with him.

Now, I like to be posed in positions he finds the most pleasing. They tend to be revealing, to say the least lol. And in one of our earliest play dates, he took a series of pictures. Which I am perfectly happy with. Assuming they remained with him.

Alas, they were sent to his friend in the UK.

Then last week, during a series of bantering SMSs, he suddenly asked me "be honest, tell me your darkest fantasy". That made me pause for a bit and in the end, I just shared that I fantasize about being displayed and used in a public setting. A fairly cursory one-liner. And yes, I find out he's shared this with the couple in the UK.

Granted, the only way I found out about this was because Master had voluntarily told me. He thought it was fun, that he had this exchange thing going on.

But.... Hello? I let you take pics assuming they would stay with you only? I'm also glad I held back on giving you specific examples on darkest fantasies because now I feel like I'm dating 3 people : Master, his friend, and his friend's wife/sub. And I don't feel good.

What do you do when you trust someone not to kill or physically harm you but cannot trust them with your head and heart? As his submissive, I will be very vulnerable to Master. I don't want to give him the power to hurt me.

The problem, I think, lies in the fact that we played so quickly. We know we're compatible BDSM wise. But are we compatible in the normal sense?As people in day-to-day lives? HHhhmmmm. Something to think about.

I'm seeing him tonight. Most unexpectedly. We were scheduled to meet only this Sunday. I've been wondering how to bring this up and I am at a loss on how to talk to him about this....

Dammit, I'm loosing my powers of *normal* communication now lol

A re-introduction... sort of... I think!

2012-01-11T17:06:00.004+08:00

Can't believe I'm on this blog.

And about to write again!

It'll be a different viewpoint though... I have been well out of the lifestyle, community, playgroups.... ALL of it. I no longer am part of the local group, pulled my membership back in 2008/2009 and have pretty much lost touch with everyone. I am in no position to give advise or encouragement either.

Throughout the years, I maintained a profile on alt.com as a matter of habit. I logged in perhaps once every 2 or 3 weeks and had a strongly worded profile detailing what I wanted, what I did NOT want, and who I desired.

Strongly worded because the sheer number of wannabes, fucktards, idiots, riffraff, losers and morons was astounding. lol. And it worked! A strongly worded profile does wonders for these time wasters! It kept them out of my hair.

In Dec 2011, it also attracted the attention of someone rather interesting.

I confess, I bit his head off figuratively. 'twas a knee jerk reaction to some of the things he said. I still feel shame a month later lol But suffice to say that we worked through it (he forgave me most graciously) and we're playing now.

I feel a welter of emotions and there's a tumultuous riot of thought that runs through me every time I think of him - what he does to me, what he makes me feel, and the reactions my mind and body give him. I find myself thinking of him every day now.

I want some coherency to what's going on now. (Not that asking someone to make me his fuck toy is sane lol) but there has always ALWAYS been a method to the madness. Writing seems like a good way of laying out my thoughts. It might seem absurd that I'm putting my thoughts online as well, but I have discovered that I found other submissives' thoughts and postings rather enlightening. If I may help but a single sub soul out there to find his/her way via my own meanderings, then I view that as an achievement :) An addition to the madness is how much I have missed this. Oh, how I have missed this. *shivers*

I've also been doing some reading up.... I want to refresh myself on what other D/s couples are going through. Earlier this morning, I found an old (2008/2009) blog of what seems to be a full time D/s couple.... both parties posted their thoughts. And the comments from others.... very poignant. The start of my current journey must be affecting me more than I thought. The same fears, the same concerns. But far better written than I ever could. I found myself crying softly

That made the decision for me.

Sir has asked me if I would consider starting a journal. I hesitated at the time. I can hesitate no more. I may let him read it. Been on my own for a long time (since 2007) and it was hard enough to articulate what I wanted with Him. What more my deepest fears? lol Oh god, could I handle being that vulnerable?

Anyways. I think this is long enough for my first post in a loooong time. I need to think some more on how I feel now.

Damn, but if feels good to let it all out!

Farewell.

2008-10-28T18:22:00.002+08:00

If you have not noticed by now, I am no longer posting here.

You may access the links if you have curiousities. Or drop me an email if you 'd like. However, I must advise you that a personal response will be slow.

Good luck on your journey. It WILL be worthwhile if you have the patience. And if you have the luck in finding a compatible partner.

And please.... always be careful. Exercise your common sense. And always ALWAYS err on the side of caution.

Play safe! And goodbye.

Accept the wild wild internets

2007-10-27T00:43:00.001+08:00

Accept that, after a while, you will probably have to go online to find a playmate. As a matter of fact, for BDSMers, it's practically a requirement lol

But I cannot warn you enough to always always always always always always ALWAYS always always use your common sense.

Take for example, this guy who wrote me, looking for a sub in Singapore. He was nice, fairly easy going, our email exchange was pleasant. Then on about the 4th email, he recommended that we play a game :

He wanted to give me his hotel room number, and I was to have gone up to his room, put on a blindfold, and let him have his way with me. WITHOUT MEETING. The meeting would have been after our "play time".

I cannot stress enough how stupid this is. As a female sub, meeting a male Dom? I mean, WHAT the FUCK was he thinking?

Listen :

Physcially, as a sub, you will be restrained. If you meet the proverbial axe murderer, how do you suppose you'll escape? Ok, that's a long shot. Practically speaking, without knowing who this person is, how do you know he hasn't lied about what he liked BDSM wise?

He could have told you he likes mild spanking, but what's to prevent him from thrashing the daylights out of you? Pain thresholds are so very different. Even if it's not painful to him, it might very well be for you.

There was more. And I will share the gory details with you, if that's what you really want, but suffice it to say, if you ever come across some Top who asks the same sort of thing, run away! Run run FAR away!

From my previous experience, I've found that these same guidelines ran through all the magnificent Doms I've had the pleasure of serving :

When I first met them :
- there were no expectations, they recognised that respect & trust were earned
- they spoke to me as equals
- we only expressely moved into BDSM play when both were agreed and ready
- things were discussed before hand, whenever we wanted to try something new
- they all displayed remarkable manners and were exquisitely considerate before, during and after playtime

Fucktards I can recogise a mile away :
- people who expect you to submit to them just because they *say* they are a Dom
- people who call themselves a True Dom (please run away VERY VERY fast)
- people who expect you to apologise for THEIR bad manners, when they've been rude or condescending or just plain stupid. Being a Dom doesn't make you better. Being a Dom doesn't give you the right to push people around.
- people who expect submssives to be subservient in real life too (this is a HUGE mistake. Some of the best subs I have met are extremely strong personalities in their daily lives.)

What these Fucktards faily to realise is that as a Top, they need a bottom to complement them and to form a perfect oneness.... A whole being..... One perfect circle.... There is not one stronger partner, no one better, no one weaker.

So please, if you're online and looking for a play partner, DO use your head first. Someone who is coarse, ill-mannered, inconsiderate or just plain uncouth as a person will be an extremely poor play partner.

The same works the other way around for Tops. For example :
- Look out for bottoms who are wary, but polite (this shows they have good manners but aren't stupid about things)
- Considerate, but not a total doormat; so she knows how to add to the BDSM relationship but is able to hone that consideration to a love suitable for that of a Dom(me)

It really does boil down to how well you know yourself, and what you are willing to settle for. If you're silly as a submissive and allow someone obnoxious to walk all over you.... tsk tsk tsk...

I should smack you myself!

Munch for Oct

2007-10-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

Ok, ok... I have been sorely remiss.

Loads going on in my normal life and this wee blog of mine had to sit on the back burner for a while. I missed the Sept munch but looks like Oct is shaping up pretty good.

It's happening this Thur at Mox Bar & cafe; their location is at 21,Tanjong PagarRoad #04-01.

The rest is... eh... I dunno. Never been there. But BondageKing was kind enough to post this on SGDomSubs so I'm just helping to pass the word. If anyone pops by this way anymore, I mean. *wry grin*

I wonder if our Girls are going to dress up?

So...

2007-09-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

.....if some fucking idiot trawls my blog and sends me an email requesting to get to know me, is public humiliation in order? I mean, this blog is meant to be knowledge-based (not that I've been posting regularly) and it's quite clear I'm not here to pick up men.

And worse, it's a kink related blog. Fucker pops by with the kindergarten question of "can I get to know you"?

Say the word, I personally am not inclined towards mercy. Heh.

Not ready

2007-08-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

- RANT ALERT -

I don't get it, I really don't.

If I give you my number because of Munch arrangements 3 weeks back, so you don't get lost, how does that translate into an SMS today that asks if I am doing something tonight and "can I come? I am bored tonight?" Since when am I here to entertain fuckers who are bored? Especially when said people don't bother to turn up. Don't bother to inform you either. How genuine are you anyways? And how rude to self-invite yourself to other people's lives!

Please note that I don't know who this guy is, I don't know how old he is, if he is legitimately intrested in BDSM or if he is just fucking around and trying to get girls. (Girls. Bah! *rolls eyes* I left girlhood behind a decade ago)

I'm here to help guide people along IN GENERAL. I strongly resent the assumption that just because I have exchanged a few friendly SMSes a month ago, I am your new best friend. That I'm here to personally hold your hand. That I am here to show you, in miniscule baby step by baby step, how to do things.

Fuck that. I am not. Get a fucking backbone!

BDSM requires a great deal of consideration. A greal deal of thought. It is NOT "oh let me tie you up and fuck you". Oh sure, that's always fun. But fuck the wrong way, and you hurt your partner. Tie the wrong way, and you injure flesh. And you come across as a needy, selfish fucker.

If you read this and didn't realise that being polite and considerate COUNTS, then oh gods, please..... you're not ready to leave your mommy's apron strings yet.

Not by a fucking long shot!!

July Munch

2007-07-20T00:10:00.000+08:00

** UPDATE! PLEASE READ! **
Location has been changed!

New venue :
1 Nite Stand Bar and Comedy Club
3 River Valley Road
Clarke Quary Black A
#01 - 04
Tel : 63341954
Reservation has been made for 8PM onwards. They will give us more space in the unlikely event that the crowd swells.

Apologies - Loof wouldn't let be do an indoor booking and their outdoor space is being taken by a private event until 9.30PM.

*****************************************

Haven't posted much lately but wanted to announce that there will be a munch this month....

That would be next Thursay (26 July) from 8PM onwards.Venue to remain at Loof because I simply haven't the time to suss out a new venue... although everyone seemed happy enough the last time :) Would anyone care to join me?

Loof is at http://loof.com.sg/rooftopbar/The address is 331 North Bridge Road #03-07 Odeon Towers Extension Rooftop and they can be reached @ 63388035. If you're walking in from City Hall, it's the short glassy building just before you encounter Bras Basah Complex and if that sounds strange, I would recommend checking out their website anyways for their map :o

Please email me if you'd like to clarify anything, I'd be happy to answer as best I can!

Why play? CAN you play?

2007-06-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

How did you first find out you enjoyed BDSM?

Did you think you were a little mentally "off"? That perhaps there was something not quite right? Did you try and speak to people, or friends, only to find them recoiling when you described what REALLY turned you on?

I never spoke to my friends. My discovery was all online. Initially triggered by someone's handle on a chat room, I asked my Mentor about it. But it was a boot up the arse when he barked You're not ready!! Holy shit, you can't challenge me like that and I dived into anything I could get my hands online and surfed, researched, chatted and hung out with anyone BDSM linked for 2 years before I had my first session. Not everyone is like me, but a majority start out online, as I rather suspect.
*wry grin*
But I digress. The fact is that most people think of BDSM, in all it's glory, as something only the deranged enjoy.

I beg to differ. I TOTALLY beg to differ.

It means a lot of things to different people. The myriad levels of BDSM play are endless. But did it ever occur to you that you'd have to be pretty sexually evolved to enjoy your fun things?

For a submissive, it takes a lot to push through, to acknowledge that heck, being tied up and being punished are joys. I want that to happen. Do me! Do me! And for Dom/mes.... to let loose and realise you're not being maniacal about wanting that power.

And that is not the end of it. Along with all that inhibition comes a very high level of self awareness and responsibility. You're going to have to be much more conscious about this than most.

Example :
My ex was totally vanilla until he met me. He took to being a top because he had a natural inclination towards that direction but when we took out the ropes, he tied the knots to ensure no escape. Which.... to a certain extent, was the entire purpose. But the knots got tighter the more they were pulled. This is Not Good.

Blood circulation is important. Goes without saying! You don't want to cause any nerve damage either. You have to make sure the knots will be secure BUT will be able to be undone in the blink of an eye. You have to ensure said knots can't be over any major arteries or veins. If you want secure knots that can't come undone, then you need a pair of "safety scissors" close at hand. And this is WITHOUT suspension coming into the picture. Now, how many people think THOSE things?

I like to use the word evolved. Evolved because you've come to terms with what you like; evolved because you can see past social conditions and embrace your OWN passions; evolved because self awareness is learnt with a conscious effort; evolved because you set your own limits and responsibility.

And what I don't appreciate are people who think they can learn BDSM in an hour.
*rolls eyes*
You might have the inclination but diving in without any thought shows a recklessness that shouldn't be encouragedl; not with the possibility of being physically hurt!

Perhaps I should do safety awareness classes. lol.

Exchange

2007-06-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

Interestingly enough, the leading editor of Bondage Guide found my wee corner and offered to exchange links. I rather suspect it's to drive traffic to his online shop, but what the hey, I agreed.

So pop by to the Love Shop and say hello. I haven't been yet, but heck, they might have something you like.

There, have I met my quota on blogging yet? lol

Sweet

2007-05-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

Lots of things are sweet.

The wonderful feeling of helplessness from being bound, the slow blush when you're being probed and examined, the excitement and anticipation from... oh my... so many things. The one other thing that should be sweet ought to be ejaculate.
*wry grin*

Pop by here if you want the nitty gritty.

Back

2007-05-15T16:50:00.000+08:00

Sorry to everyone who popped by, only to find nothing new.

There's been some personal drama in my life which needed to be resolved and blogging was really the last thing on my mind. Drama? From me?
*wry grin*
Yup. From me.
Partner and I broke up and I've been trying to find some closure. The full sordid story is on my other blog but on this one, suffice it to say that I'm back.

What did I miss?

It Speaks!

2007-04-24T01:49:00.000+08:00

I suppose a bit of a self introduction is in order.

I'd consider myself somewhat experienced in the lifestyle though I think it hardly qualifys me to call subs "little one".

I'm mostly local, but allegedly part Japanese, depending on who you speak to in the family. Take myself far less seriously than I should which I suspect sometimes annoys the living daylights out of my esteemed fellow blogger but I like to think that she puts up with me for my dashing good looks and cutting wit.

I've probably been 'into' the lifestyle literally since I can remember but really got into it in my college years. There were loads of pervy people there. And seems like over the years what started out more as a captivation purely with S&M has given way to a penchant for domination and submission. Not to say that I've thrown away my ropes and floggers mind you.

And finally, any introduction would not be complete without a picture of my favourite riding crop which, a friend used to imaginatively nickname "Greenie" and was once unfortunately discovered by a customs official but survived the encounter nonetheless:

Be good y'all.

Shave

2007-04-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

I love me a good shave.
Nice and baby smooth.
If I were me, I'd be touching me constantly. MMMmmmm.

No wait, scratch that last line.....

What I *will* tell you though, the UNglamourous side of things, is that maintaining a shave is a bitch.

New face

2007-04-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

That's right, a new face.

I've got a good friend to co-author this blog with me because even though I'm a submissive, a Dom/me's view is important too. If anyone else would like me to post their articles/posts/stories, you know where to find me :)

Happy playing!

Aftermath

2007-04-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

Well now. It's come and gone. The Mid Month Munch, as someone called it.

I confess I was totally blown away.
There was a much, much bigger turnout than I'd have ever expected. Pictures of the place itself are up here, if you want to check Loof out. But that's not what I want to share.

What I wanted to share was my fear of apathy.

Before I disappeared from the "scene", I used to regularly attend the monthly munches. At it's highest, I remember walking in on a bunch of about 30 people at the Alley Bar and being shocked. So many! It had only rather been about 10 - 15. I later discovered that most of them were male submissives (Dommes being the rarest of the rare *wry grin*) but it was heartening. After that though? Downhill all the way.

So when I took the plunge to gather people together, I had a lot of misgivings.

I don't know why people showed up, but I was glad. Actually, the words that come to mind are deliriously happy. Yay! People! Lots of new faces, happy to have met them! Old faces! A joy to be reunited!

We had all sorts turn up.... with the exception of one woman who told my friend that she went everywhere, including the grocery store, in her leathers and corsets.... well, we looked normal enough from the outside. *chuckles* As a matter of fact, one table across from us were all dressed up in fancy dress/club wear/strange clothing, complete with a shocking pink wig. As my chat partner of the moment quipped, We're the normal ones, eh? They're the freaks, yes?

I had a number of interesting conversations that day. From a lady who seemed to be just discovering the depths of her sexuality, to someone who seemed to take it all for fun, to someone with a rather unique fetish.

Although that last one.... I wondered later if that were genuine or if he was just testing people in general.... Nah, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, we're supposed to be open minded about it, yes? ;)

The point is I really enjoyed the moment. One long string of glorious moments. Each tied to a conversation with someone. To talk to all these people and see so many different viewpoints and perspectives. I am reminded of what I LOVE about my kinks. And I am reminded of what is real and how, frankly, some people can share my love of kink and have still hold diametrically opposite views from myself.
*shrugs*
There you go. Sexuality as wide as the sea.

I am a little troubled about some of the submissives, but I think I'll deal with that in another post.

Why sub?

2007-04-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

Trying to organise the munch has certainly made me think a lot more about why I enjoy BDSM.

I've been out of it a long time.
About 3 years now.
Initially, it's been because my current partner is not based in Singapore and because things got serious, I remained faithful to him. But the last 6 months have..... well.... to cut a long story short, I need to revive my own interests. He may not be here, I may not be exactly looking for Dom partner, but the last I can start off with is to get in touch with the local community.

And tomorrow's munch and my contact with a few people has made me journey inwards. Sort of a step back to my roots. To rediscover why I enjoy this. Why do I enjoy submission? What is this all about anyways?

We start off, as in all good stories, at the beginning.
I had/have a tendency to date dominent men (NOT to be mistaken for DOMINEERING men) and wondered why this was so. And I realised my rockbottom desire was, in certain circumstances, to be able to be free. Free! What a wonderful word!

Free from always being in charge of myself, of being in control.
Free from personal responsibilities.
Free from holding myself in and watching my surrounds/environment and the people around me.
Free of the walls that social conditioning builds up in me.

I once went out with someone who wanted his woman to be totally dependant on him. He didn't want his woman to work, just stay home and look after him. This was when I had just started working for real. My own money, my own apartment, my own job, my own life. And I distinctly remember telling him Then why are you with me? I'm a modern woman! I still remember him, after 13 years. And as always, hindsight is 100% correct. He could see the core of me. It would be a year or two later that I would discover who this was going to be manifested.

No, I'm not a gold-digger!
But the point is that my core as a submissive is the freedom that comes when you surrender. When you give up control. When your environment, your desires, your sensations and emotions...... your very being.... is given up as an offering to someone who will take it, hold it, treasure it, mould it and protect it.

It's not called a Power Exchange for nothing.

Yay! A munch!

2007-04-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ok, people.
12 April is the next time we're meeting. From 8PM onwards.

Venue for now (or until someone proposes somewhere more interesting) is Loof. Rooftop + chillout music = fairly promising!

I actually called them to make inquiries. No, not because I think they're going to pull a Union Bar act on me, but because I wanted to see if I could make reservations. And I can! No deposit needed, I'll just call on Mon or something. Which is great. We'll get comfy seats! If you intend to pop by, just ask for the table under my name.

You don't know my name?
Damn, just clicky clicky on the Vanilla Me link on the right.... that's the other half of me! *chuckles* :)

If you want to check Loof out, they're at http://loof.com.sg/rooftopbar/
The address is 331 North Bridge Road #03-07 Odeon Towers Extension Rooftop and they can be reached @ 63388035. It's the short glassy building just before you encounter Bras Basah Complex and if that sounds strange, I would recommend checking out their website anyways for their map :o

I've tried to consider parking and public transport and I think this place is all right. Parking is round the corner at Bras Basah Complex itself. And the closest train station is City Hall. You can't get more central than that!

Please come.
It'll be open, friendly and safe. No props, no costumes, no weird shit to freak you out, especially if you haven't come for a munch before. lol. Just like minded people gathering together. A chance for you to pick each other's brains, share stories if you have the inclination, or just sit and enjoy the company.

There's a reason this blog is called Local Kink and it's not just about me :)

I'm with Stupid

2007-04-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

Hey, look what I got in my inbox!

Elson Goh to me Mar 30 (2 days ago)

i m Jason 41yrs old love sex n lick pussy hope 2 join u call or sms me 967164XX

Whomever you are, you're an idiot. Submissives are not hookers!

Friendly faces and closed places

2007-04-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

Well. I finally managed to make it for the March Munch.

The irony of it all was the bloody Union Bar was closed. Closed! I got to Club Street, walked around a bit looking for the place, and finally realised it was all borded up. Bah!

I got lucky. I was really really lucky.
As I was walking around, someone hailed me and I turned to see our resident CD Annie. A recognisable face! At last! Fortunately, he'd been in touch with some of the others and he'd received an SMS from MJ about the new venue. Which was equally hard to find :o

What was amusing was.... as we chatted and tried to find the new place, we saw a few couples walking up to #81. These people peered in and we heard mutters of This seems to be the place! I wonder what happened? Where is everyone? I was SO tempted to walk up to each and every one of these couples and ask BDSM group Munch? Join us! :)

So we finally met up at some bar. There was me, Annie, RayDragon and three more new faces. but I confess, one of the new guys, needs a lesson in courtesy, perhaps. I sat down next to him, we introduced ourselves. And then we talked about work. Basic social chitchat, right?

Wrong.

He went on and on about his work. Bloody NuSkin and bloody pyramid schemes. Even when I put on my bored face, turned my body away from him and grunted my replies, he didn't get the hint.
*rolls eyes*
I finally told him point blank.... If you're into sales, you need to learn about body language. Not interested! And THAT was when he finally realised that OK! Not interested! Wow! Had to hit him over the head with a hammer before he realises! Not good! A speciality munch is not the place for a damned sales pitch!

But I digress.
Apart from that one irritating point in the evening, it was nice. We talked a little about BDSM in general, we shared a few jokes, and a new lady felt much better when I turned up. Otherwise she'd have been the only woman present, she quipped.

I hope to get in touch with S over the next few days. This is what munches are all about : a chance to talk to like minded people, get comfortable, dig a little, find out what makes other people tick. An opportunity to see that you're not alone! It was great! Only 5 people gathered in the end, but it was great!

I'd like to try for a second gathering, perhaps in the middle of the month, for those who miss the one at month's end. Would anyone be game?

Let me know :)

March 2007 munch

2007-03-25T20:10:00.000+08:00

March Munch looks like it's up and people are starting to get stuck in.
Actually, the address is still the same.... it's still Union Bar. And it's the last Thursday of the month. So check off 29 March 2007 on your calendar.

Union Bar is at 81, Club Street and the phone # there is 63274990.

Please have some common sense - if you call them and ask for the BDSM group meetings, I will personally kick your arse. Discretion is a big part of BDSM.

For those of you who aren't aware of this, learn please.

HHhhmmmm

2007-03-04T17:40:00.000+08:00

For some reason to-day, my thoughts stray to insertions.....

Nice ties, fully spread, evil intent and any number of objects for wicked play.

Yum yum yum.

No munch

2007-02-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

I feel a little like a washtout.
All that talk about munches.
And I am not going this evening.

But I'm really in no shape to face a bunch of strangers. Enforced social chitchat is a tedious ritual that saps me of strength. And considering the emotional rollercoaster I'm on right now, it wouldn't be fair to them, or to me.

March munch might be better. I got a couple of emails from the previous/old group members and they'll prolly show up then.

Gives me a better incentive to attend. *shrugs*

Quote

2007-02-19T03:53:00.000+08:00

I am rarely interested in quotes.

Primarily because I don't seek inspiration from someone else's viewpoint. But occasionally - just occasionally - I come across something that resonates very strongly within me. Here is one such quote :

Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.
Derek Jarman

This is perfect, just perfect, for BDSM.
When I first started out on my quest to learn more, I was seeing someone substantially older than I was. As a matter of fact, I recall one year where the jokes were coming particularly fast and thick. Why? Because I was 25, he was 50, it was justa quirk of the calendar, and he was just feeling the onset of middle age. The fact that I was half his age that year made him... well.... feel his age! *chuckles* But that is another story.

What I am trying to point out is that BDSM has no one single defininition. There are as many variations of play as there are mindsets. No 2 couples will play the same way, even if they enjoy the same preferences. That's why it's always so exciting. But also so difficult.

If you're like me and refuse to settle for second best, then finding a compatible partner may not be all that easy. If you're in a city that doesn't openly embrace alternative lifestyles, then you're in for a long search.

Perhaps we should all move to San Francisco.....

Be at ease with your fantasies. Be at ease with the desires that flow forth. There is nothing wrong with a little mental imagery. There is nothing wrong with you. But always always ensure that you play by the rules - Safe, Sane and Consensual. I can't stress the importance of these three little words enough.

It took me a while to come to terms with my own sexuality. Society can lay a pretty heavy moral guilt. But that's it, you see.... society's moral compass, society's boundaries, society's openness (or the lack thereof). No one can fulfill your desires except yourself.

So embrace the difference. If you find someone who enbraces that difference as well, you're one of the luckier few. If that someone embraces the difference the same way as yourself? Shit..... get married!

"Sexuality is as wide as the sea..." How wonderful!

Cross posted on V's Spot.

Mixed thoughts

2007-02-18T02:57:00.000+08:00

One thing good has come out of my attempt to reach some local kinksters. I've been pointed in the right direction and have managed to rejoin the local group.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Because it's on Yahoo360, when I joined up I sent out a hello note. Just a dip of the toe, you might say. And amazingly enough, there are already 4-5 people who've replied to welcome me back. Welcome me BACK. That's right. Same people still hanging around.

I'm glad on the one hand.
It'll be easier to slip back into my interests. My errant boyfriend seems not too concerned with the amount of time I am left on my own. So since I have time, I'm going to pursue my interest in BDSM again.

Oh, I'm not looking for a fuck buddy or anything like that. But to be a part of the community once more? Help to guide newbies along? A friendly face if you're genuine? Yes, I actually do miss that bit. It's always a blessing to be amongst like-minded people where you can let your guard down. You don't have to watch what you say. And you know other people appreciate whatever reactions flit across one's face.

When I was active last time, I would support not only the munches but the private parties as well. The private parties were.... not as safe as the munches. lol. Well, safe is not the right word! Clean cut, would be more accurate. But I never participated. Just watched. I felt comfortable playing only with my partner and since I'd invaribly attend alone, I never deigned to participate.

But the primary factor which drove me away were the wanna-bes.
For some reason, we seemed to atract a shitload of people who thought BDSM was cool. Cool. Holy shit, this isn't a fad. It's not FASHIONABLE to be a sub. You're doing it for all the wrong reasons! You submit because you want to! Because you crave it! Because it gives you a freedom you can never get anywhere else!

So I left in frustration, one might say.
Rather stay low, opt out, and remove myself from these irritants than endure the shallowness of it all. I must confess I felt rather insulted and offended to be in the same category as these wanna-bes.

Therefore it's with a sense of trepidation that I approach this month's munch. Will I see more wanna-bes? Will there be familiar faces? Will I have to sit amongst complete strangers and PR / be sociable? I find networking troublesome and tiresome and it wears me out. Will it be worth it this time around?

I certainly hope so :I

It's alive!

2007-02-17T01:59:00.000+08:00

It's been a while, I know.

I set up the site in the hopes that it would be a potential area for Singaporeans or SG-based peeps to gather and exchange ideas or views on BDSM. And it was in hiatus for a wee bit, just after I set it up. Things happen. *shrugs*

But lookit, I've managed to find the local group I used to hang out with 3 years back.

Ok, well.... it's not exactly the same crowd. But a few of the "old timers" appear to still be around and I guess I'll attend the next munch and see what's left. If any :o

Speaking of which, I won't ask for names, but the groups meets every last Thursday of the month for a munch and you know what? You're welcome to come along. Apparently te venue hasn't chnage since I attended my last much! Geez! Still Union Bar! lol

Anyways....
If you're curious about *anything*? Come along.
If you want to know more? Come along.
If you want to view the people from a safe distance lest we turn out to be rabid members of a dysfunctional community? COME ALONG.

Union Bar is at 81, Club Street and the phone # there is 63274990.
Please have some common sense - if you call them and ask for the BDSM group meetings, I will personally kick your arse. Discretion is a big part of BDSM. Learn.

By the way, in case you weren't sure... a munch is a public meeting without the BDSM clothes or toys or props. I'd go in tshirt and shorts if it weren't a bar. *chuckles*

So.
Just a casual gathering for anyone who wants to see what's up. An opportunity for people to talk to others already engaged in BDSM play or a lifestyle; and is a great chance to pick their brains on whatever you'd like. No pressure, no stress. Just drinks and a chat.

I'll be going this month and I'm already bringing along a personal buddy who's always been curious about BDSM. And I'm hoping to meet another local member there. If you want a friendly face, I'd be happy to hold your hand....

After all, what do you have to lose? :)

Doh!

2007-01-24T21:02:00.000+08:00

Offline for a bit.
Came back from my holiday but nope, no connection at home.

Apologies, this will be a labour of love only when I get a connection going at home. This is not exactly SafeForWork material here, eh?

In the meanwhile, I hope you play safe :)

An Introduction....

2007-01-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

..... is in order.

Welcome, all ye who pass by.
I'm trying to gather together like minds, people who appreciate their slightly twisted side :) Whether you're Singaporean or passing through Singapore, you are most welcome. Drop your names and disguised emails (to thwart spambots, yes?) in the comments section and I'll see what I can do to set up a basic mailing list. Hopefully, soon, we'll be able to get something going.

Alternatively, you may choose to email me directly, email address is on the profile page.

I'll be away for a short holiday so this post will remain sticky until the day I return, thereby giving me a chance to see if there are fellow kinksters out there. It might just be that I'll get no response. *shrugs* We shall see, what we shall see.

In the meantime, happy playing!