Shave

I love me a good shave.
Nice and baby smooth.
If I were me, I'd be touching me constantly. MMMmmmm.

No wait, scratch that last line.....

What I *will* tell you though, the UNglamourous side of things, is that maintaining a shave is a bitch.

New face

That's right, a new face.

I've got a good friend to co-author this blog with me because even though I'm a submissive, a Dom/me's view is important too. If anyone else would like me to post their articles/posts/stories, you know where to find me :)


Happy playing!

Aftermath

Well now. It's come and gone. The Mid Month Munch, as someone called it.

I confess I was totally blown away.
There was a much, much bigger turnout than I'd have ever expected. Pictures of the place itself are up here, if you want to check Loof out. But that's not what I want to share.

What I wanted to share was my fear of apathy.

Before I disappeared from the "scene", I used to regularly attend the monthly munches. At it's highest, I remember walking in on a bunch of about 30 people at the Alley Bar and being shocked. So many! It had only rather been about 10 - 15. I later discovered that most of them were male submissives (Dommes being the rarest of the rare *wry grin*) but it was heartening. After that though? Downhill all the way.

So when I took the plunge to gather people together, I had a lot of misgivings.

I don't know why people showed up, but I was glad. Actually, the words that come to mind are deliriously happy. Yay! People! Lots of new faces, happy to have met them! Old faces! A joy to be reunited!

We had all sorts turn up.... with the exception of one woman who told my friend that she went everywhere, including the grocery store, in her leathers and corsets.... well, we looked normal enough from the outside. *chuckles* As a matter of fact, one table across from us were all dressed up in fancy dress/club wear/strange clothing, complete with a shocking pink wig. As my chat partner of the moment quipped, We're the normal ones, eh? They're the freaks, yes?

I had a number of interesting conversations that day. From a lady who seemed to be just discovering the depths of her sexuality, to someone who seemed to take it all for fun, to someone with a rather unique fetish.

Although that last one.... I wondered later if that were genuine or if he was just testing people in general.... Nah, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, we're supposed to be open minded about it, yes? ;)

The point is I really enjoyed the moment. One long string of glorious moments. Each tied to a conversation with someone. To talk to all these people and see so many different viewpoints and perspectives. I am reminded of what I LOVE about my kinks. And I am reminded of what is real and how, frankly, some people can share my love of kink and have still hold diametrically opposite views from myself.
*shrugs*
There you go. Sexuality as wide as the sea.


I am a little troubled about some of the submissives, but I think I'll deal with that in another post.

Why sub?

Trying to organise the munch has certainly made me think a lot more about why I enjoy BDSM.

I've been out of it a long time.
About 3 years now.
Initially, it's been because my current partner is not based in Singapore and because things got serious, I remained faithful to him. But the last 6 months have..... well.... to cut a long story short, I need to revive my own interests. He may not be here, I may not be exactly looking for Dom partner, but the last I can start off with is to get in touch with the local community.

And tomorrow's munch and my contact with a few people has made me journey inwards. Sort of a step back to my roots. To rediscover why I enjoy this. Why do I enjoy submission? What is this all about anyways?

We start off, as in all good stories, at the beginning.
I had/have a tendency to date dominent men (NOT to be mistaken for DOMINEERING men) and wondered why this was so. And I realised my rockbottom desire was, in certain circumstances, to be able to be free. Free! What a wonderful word!

Free from always being in charge of myself, of being in control.
Free from personal responsibilities.
Free from holding myself in and watching my surrounds/environment and the people around me.
Free of the walls that social conditioning builds up in me.

I once went out with someone who wanted his woman to be totally dependant on him. He didn't want his woman to work, just stay home and look after him. This was when I had just started working for real. My own money, my own apartment, my own job, my own life. And I distinctly remember telling him Then why are you with me? I'm a modern woman! I still remember him, after 13 years. And as always, hindsight is 100% correct. He could see the core of me. It would be a year or two later that I would discover who this was going to be manifested.

No, I'm not a gold-digger!
But the point is that my core as a submissive is the freedom that comes when you surrender. When you give up control. When your environment, your desires, your sensations and emotions...... your very being.... is given up as an offering to someone who will take it, hold it, treasure it, mould it and protect it.


It's not called a Power Exchange for nothing.

Yay! A munch!

Ok, people.
12 April is the next time we're meeting. From 8PM onwards.

Venue for now (or until someone proposes somewhere more interesting) is Loof. Rooftop + chillout music = fairly promising!

I actually called them to make inquiries. No, not because I think they're going to pull a Union Bar act on me, but because I wanted to see if I could make reservations. And I can! No deposit needed, I'll just call on Mon or something. Which is great. We'll get comfy seats! If you intend to pop by, just ask for the table under my name.

You don't know my name?
Damn, just clicky clicky on the Vanilla Me link on the right.... that's the other half of me! *chuckles* :)

If you want to check Loof out, they're at http://loof.com.sg/rooftopbar/
The address is 331 North Bridge Road #03-07 Odeon Towers Extension Rooftop and they can be reached @ 63388035. It's the short glassy building just before you encounter Bras Basah Complex and if that sounds strange, I would recommend checking out their website anyways for their map :o

I've tried to consider parking and public transport and I think this place is all right. Parking is round the corner at Bras Basah Complex itself. And the closest train station is City Hall. You can't get more central than that!

Please come.
It'll be open, friendly and safe. No props, no costumes, no weird shit to freak you out, especially if you haven't come for a munch before. lol. Just like minded people gathering together. A chance for you to pick each other's brains, share stories if you have the inclination, or just sit and enjoy the company.


There's a reason this blog is called Local Kink and it's not just about me :)

I'm with Stupid

Hey, look what I got in my inbox!

Elson Goh to me Mar 30 (2 days ago)

i m Jason 41yrs old love sex n lick pussy hope 2 join u call or sms me 967164XX

Whomever you are, you're an idiot. Submissives are not hookers!

Friendly faces and closed places

Well. I finally managed to make it for the March Munch.

The irony of it all was the bloody Union Bar was closed. Closed! I got to Club Street, walked around a bit looking for the place, and finally realised it was all borded up. Bah!

I got lucky. I was really really lucky.
As I was walking around, someone hailed me and I turned to see our resident CD Annie. A recognisable face! At last! Fortunately, he'd been in touch with some of the others and he'd received an SMS from MJ about the new venue. Which was equally hard to find :o

What was amusing was.... as we chatted and tried to find the new place, we saw a few couples walking up to #81. These people peered in and we heard mutters of This seems to be the place! I wonder what happened? Where is everyone? I was SO tempted to walk up to each and every one of these couples and ask BDSM group Munch? Join us! :)

So we finally met up at some bar. There was me, Annie, RayDragon and three more new faces. but I confess, one of the new guys, needs a lesson in courtesy, perhaps. I sat down next to him, we introduced ourselves. And then we talked about work. Basic social chitchat, right?

Wrong.

He went on and on about his work. Bloody NuSkin and bloody pyramid schemes. Even when I put on my bored face, turned my body away from him and grunted my replies, he didn't get the hint.
*rolls eyes*
I finally told him point blank.... If you're into sales, you need to learn about body language. Not interested! And THAT was when he finally realised that OK! Not interested! Wow! Had to hit him over the head with a hammer before he realises! Not good! A speciality munch is not the place for a damned sales pitch!

But I digress.
Apart from that one irritating point in the evening, it was nice. We talked a little about BDSM in general, we shared a few jokes, and a new lady felt much better when I turned up. Otherwise she'd have been the only woman present, she quipped.

I hope to get in touch with S over the next few days. This is what munches are all about : a chance to talk to like minded people, get comfortable, dig a little, find out what makes other people tick. An opportunity to see that you're not alone! It was great! Only 5 people gathered in the end, but it was great!

I'd like to try for a second gathering, perhaps in the middle of the month, for those who miss the one at month's end. Would anyone be game?


Let me know :)

March 2007 munch

March Munch looks like it's up and people are starting to get stuck in.
Actually, the address is still the same.... it's still Union Bar. And it's the last Thursday of the month. So check off 29 March 2007 on your calendar.

Union Bar is at 81, Club Street and the phone # there is 63274990.

Please have some common sense - if you call them and ask for the BDSM group meetings, I will personally kick your arse. Discretion is a big part of BDSM.


For those of you who aren't aware of this, learn please.

HHhhmmmm

For some reason to-day, my thoughts stray to insertions.....

Nice ties, fully spread, evil intent and any number of objects for wicked play.

Yum yum yum.

No munch

I feel a little like a washtout.
All that talk about munches.
And I am not going this evening.

But I'm really in no shape to face a bunch of strangers. Enforced social chitchat is a tedious ritual that saps me of strength. And considering the emotional rollercoaster I'm on right now, it wouldn't be fair to them, or to me.

March munch might be better. I got a couple of emails from the previous/old group members and they'll prolly show up then.


Gives me a better incentive to attend. *shrugs*

Quote

I am rarely interested in quotes.

Primarily because I don't seek inspiration from someone else's viewpoint. But occasionally - just occasionally - I come across something that resonates very strongly within me. Here is one such quote :

Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.
Derek Jarman

This is perfect, just perfect, for BDSM.
When I first started out on my quest to learn more, I was seeing someone substantially older than I was. As a matter of fact, I recall one year where the jokes were coming particularly fast and thick. Why? Because I was 25, he was 50, it was justa quirk of the calendar, and he was just feeling the onset of middle age. The fact that I was half his age that year made him... well.... feel his age! *chuckles* But that is another story.

What I am trying to point out is that BDSM has no one single defininition. There are as many variations of play as there are mindsets. No 2 couples will play the same way, even if they enjoy the same preferences. That's why it's always so exciting. But also so difficult.

If you're like me and refuse to settle for second best, then finding a compatible partner may not be all that easy. If you're in a city that doesn't openly embrace alternative lifestyles, then you're in for a long search.

Perhaps we should all move to San Francisco.....

Be at ease with your fantasies. Be at ease with the desires that flow forth. There is nothing wrong with a little mental imagery. There is nothing wrong with you. But always always ensure that you play by the rules - Safe, Sane and Consensual. I can't stress the importance of these three little words enough.

It took me a while to come to terms with my own sexuality. Society can lay a pretty heavy moral guilt. But that's it, you see.... society's moral compass, society's boundaries, society's openness (or the lack thereof). No one can fulfill your desires except yourself.

So embrace the difference. If you find someone who enbraces that difference as well, you're one of the luckier few. If that someone embraces the difference the same way as yourself? Shit..... get married!


"Sexuality is as wide as the sea..." How wonderful!


Cross posted on V's Spot.

Mixed thoughts

One thing good has come out of my attempt to reach some local kinksters. I've been pointed in the right direction and have managed to rejoin the local group.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Because it's on Yahoo360, when I joined up I sent out a hello note. Just a dip of the toe, you might say. And amazingly enough, there are already 4-5 people who've replied to welcome me back. Welcome me BACK. That's right. Same people still hanging around.

I'm glad on the one hand.
It'll be easier to slip back into my interests. My errant boyfriend seems not too concerned with the amount of time I am left on my own. So since I have time, I'm going to pursue my interest in BDSM again.

Oh, I'm not looking for a fuck buddy or anything like that. But to be a part of the community once more? Help to guide newbies along? A friendly face if you're genuine? Yes, I actually do miss that bit. It's always a blessing to be amongst like-minded people where you can let your guard down. You don't have to watch what you say. And you know other people appreciate whatever reactions flit across one's face.

When I was active last time, I would support not only the munches but the private parties as well. The private parties were.... not as safe as the munches. lol. Well, safe is not the right word! Clean cut, would be more accurate. But I never participated. Just watched. I felt comfortable playing only with my partner and since I'd invaribly attend alone, I never deigned to participate.

But the primary factor which drove me away were the wanna-bes.
For some reason, we seemed to atract a shitload of people who thought BDSM was cool. Cool. Holy shit, this isn't a fad. It's not FASHIONABLE to be a sub. You're doing it for all the wrong reasons! You submit because you want to! Because you crave it! Because it gives you a freedom you can never get anywhere else!

So I left in frustration, one might say.
Rather stay low, opt out, and remove myself from these irritants than endure the shallowness of it all. I must confess I felt rather insulted and offended to be in the same category as these wanna-bes.

Therefore it's with a sense of trepidation that I approach this month's munch. Will I see more wanna-bes? Will there be familiar faces? Will I have to sit amongst complete strangers and PR / be sociable? I find networking troublesome and tiresome and it wears me out. Will it be worth it this time around?


I certainly hope so :I

It's alive!

It's been a while, I know.

I set up the site in the hopes that it would be a potential area for Singaporeans or SG-based peeps to gather and exchange ideas or views on BDSM. And it was in hiatus for a wee bit, just after I set it up. Things happen. *shrugs*

But lookit, I've managed to find the local group I used to hang out with 3 years back.

Ok, well.... it's not exactly the same crowd. But a few of the "old timers" appear to still be around and I guess I'll attend the next munch and see what's left. If any :o

Speaking of which, I won't ask for names, but the groups meets every last Thursday of the month for a munch and you know what? You're welcome to come along. Apparently te venue hasn't chnage since I attended my last much! Geez! Still Union Bar! lol

Anyways....
If you're curious about *anything*? Come along.
If you want to know more? Come along.
If you want to view the people from a safe distance lest we turn out to be rabid members of a dysfunctional community? COME ALONG.

Union Bar is at 81, Club Street and the phone # there is 63274990.
Please have some common sense - if you call them and ask for the BDSM group meetings, I will personally kick your arse. Discretion is a big part of BDSM. Learn.

By the way, in case you weren't sure... a munch is a public meeting without the BDSM clothes or toys or props. I'd go in tshirt and shorts if it weren't a bar. *chuckles*

So.
Just a casual gathering for anyone who wants to see what's up. An opportunity for people to talk to others already engaged in BDSM play or a lifestyle; and is a great chance to pick their brains on whatever you'd like. No pressure, no stress. Just drinks and a chat.

I'll be going this month and I'm already bringing along a personal buddy who's always been curious about BDSM. And I'm hoping to meet another local member there. If you want a friendly face, I'd be happy to hold your hand....


After all, what do you have to lose? :)

Doh!

Offline for a bit.
Came back from my holiday but nope, no connection at home.

Apologies, this will be a labour of love only when I get a connection going at home. This is not exactly SafeForWork material here, eh?


In the meanwhile, I hope you play safe :)

An Introduction....

..... is in order.

Welcome, all ye who pass by.
I'm trying to gather together like minds, people who appreciate their slightly twisted side :) Whether you're Singaporean or passing through Singapore, you are most welcome. Drop your names and disguised emails (to thwart spambots, yes?) in the comments section and I'll see what I can do to set up a basic mailing list. Hopefully, soon, we'll be able to get something going.

Alternatively, you may choose to email me directly, email address is on the profile page.

I'll be away for a short holiday so this post will remain sticky until the day I return, thereby giving me a chance to see if there are fellow kinksters out there. It might just be that I'll get no response. *shrugs* We shall see, what we shall see.


In the meantime, happy playing!