Monday, 19 February 2007


I am rarely interested in quotes.

Primarily because I don't seek inspiration from someone else's viewpoint. But occasionally - just occasionally - I come across something that resonates very strongly within me. Here is one such quote :
Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.
Derek Jarman

This is perfect, just perfect, for BDSM.
When I first started out on my quest to learn more, I was seeing someone substantially older than I was. As a matter of fact, I recall one year where the jokes were coming particularly fast and thick. Why? Because I was 25, he was 50, it was justa quirk of the calendar, and he was just feeling the onset of middle age. The fact that I was half his age that year made him... well.... feel his age! *chuckles* But that is another story.

What I am trying to point out is that BDSM has no one single defininition. There are as many variations of play as there are mindsets. No 2 couples will play the same way, even if they enjoy the same preferences. That's why it's always so exciting. But also so difficult.

If you're like me and refuse to settle for second best, then finding a compatible partner may not be all that easy. If you're in a city that doesn't openly embrace alternative lifestyles, then you're in for a long search.

Perhaps we should all move to San Francisco.....

Be at ease with your fantasies. Be at ease with the desires that flow forth. There is nothing wrong with a little mental imagery. There is nothing wrong with you. But always always ensure that you play by the rules - Safe, Sane and Consensual. I can't stress the importance of these three little words enough.

It took me a while to come to terms with my own sexuality. Society can lay a pretty heavy moral guilt. But that's it, you see.... society's moral compass, society's boundaries, society's openness (or the lack thereof). No one can fulfill your desires except yourself.

So embrace the difference. If you find someone who enbraces that difference as well, you're one of the luckier few. If that someone embraces the difference the same way as yourself? Shit..... get married!

"Sexuality is as wide as the sea..." How wonderful!

Cross posted on V's Spot.

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