Farewell.

If you have not noticed by now, I am no longer posting here.

You may access the links if you have curiousities. Or drop me an email if you 'd like. However, I must advise you that a personal response will be slow.

Good luck on your journey. It WILL be worthwhile if you have the patience. And if you have the luck in finding a compatible partner.

And please.... always be careful. Exercise your common sense. And always ALWAYS err on the side of caution.


Play safe! And goodbye.

Accept the wild wild internets

Accept that, after a while, you will probably have to go online to find a playmate. As a matter of fact, for BDSMers, it's practically a requirement lol

But I cannot warn you enough to always always always always always always ALWAYS always always use your common sense.

Take for example, this guy who wrote me, looking for a sub in Singapore. He was nice, fairly easy going, our email exchange was pleasant. Then on about the 4th email, he recommended that we play a game :

He wanted to give me his hotel room number, and I was to have gone up to his room, put on a blindfold, and let him have his way with me. WITHOUT MEETING. The meeting would have been after our "play time".

I cannot stress enough how stupid this is. As a female sub, meeting a male Dom? I mean, WHAT the FUCK was he thinking?

Listen :

Physcially, as a sub, you will be restrained. If you meet the proverbial axe murderer, how do you suppose you'll escape? Ok, that's a long shot. Practically speaking, without knowing who this person is, how do you know he hasn't lied about what he liked BDSM wise?

He could have told you he likes mild spanking, but what's to prevent him from thrashing the daylights out of you? Pain thresholds are so very different. Even if it's not painful to him, it might very well be for you.

There was more. And I will share the gory details with you, if that's what you really want, but suffice it to say, if you ever come across some Top who asks the same sort of thing, run away! Run run FAR away!

From my previous experience, I've found that these same guidelines ran through all the magnificent Doms I've had the pleasure of serving :

When I first met them :
- there were no expectations, they recognised that respect & trust were earned
- they spoke to me as equals
- we only expressely moved into BDSM play when both were agreed and ready
- things were discussed before hand, whenever we wanted to try something new
- they all displayed remarkable manners and were exquisitely considerate before, during and after playtime

Fucktards I can recogise a mile away :
- people who expect you to submit to them just because they *say* they are a Dom
- people who call themselves a True Dom (please run away VERY VERY fast)
- people who expect you to apologise for THEIR bad manners, when they've been rude or condescending or just plain stupid. Being a Dom doesn't make you better. Being a Dom doesn't give you the right to push people around.
- people who expect submssives to be subservient in real life too (this is a HUGE mistake. Some of the best subs I have met are extremely strong personalities in their daily lives.)

What these Fucktards faily to realise is that as a Top, they need a bottom to complement them and to form a perfect oneness.... A whole being..... One perfect circle.... There is not one stronger partner, no one better, no one weaker.

So please, if you're online and looking for a play partner, DO use your head first. Someone who is coarse, ill-mannered, inconsiderate or just plain uncouth as a person will be an extremely poor play partner.

The same works the other way around for Tops. For example :
- Look out for bottoms who are wary, but polite (this shows they have good manners but aren't stupid about things)
- Considerate, but not a total doormat; so she knows how to add to the BDSM relationship but is able to hone that consideration to a love suitable for that of a Dom(me)

It really does boil down to how well you know yourself, and what you are willing to settle for. If you're silly as a submissive and allow someone obnoxious to walk all over you.... tsk tsk tsk...


I should smack you myself!

Munch for Oct

Ok, ok... I have been sorely remiss.

Loads going on in my normal life and this wee blog of mine had to sit on the back burner for a while. I missed the Sept munch but looks like Oct is shaping up pretty good.

It's happening this Thur at Mox Bar & cafe; their location is at 21,Tanjong PagarRoad #04-01.

The rest is... eh... I dunno. Never been there. But BondageKing was kind enough to post this on SGDomSubs so I'm just helping to pass the word. If anyone pops by this way anymore, I mean. *wry grin*


I wonder if our Girls are going to dress up?

So...

.....if some fucking idiot trawls my blog and sends me an email requesting to get to know me, is public humiliation in order? I mean, this blog is meant to be knowledge-based (not that I've been posting regularly) and it's quite clear I'm not here to pick up men.

And worse, it's a kink related blog. Fucker pops by with the kindergarten question of "can I get to know you"?


Say the word, I personally am not inclined towards mercy. Heh.

Not ready

- RANT ALERT -


I don't get it, I really don't.

If I give you my number because of Munch arrangements 3 weeks back, so you don't get lost, how does that translate into an SMS today that asks if I am doing something tonight and "can I come? I am bored tonight?" Since when am I here to entertain fuckers who are bored? Especially when said people don't bother to turn up. Don't bother to inform you either. How genuine are you anyways? And how rude to self-invite yourself to other people's lives!

Please note that I don't know who this guy is, I don't know how old he is, if he is legitimately intrested in BDSM or if he is just fucking around and trying to get girls. (Girls. Bah! *rolls eyes* I left girlhood behind a decade ago)

I'm here to help guide people along IN GENERAL. I strongly resent the assumption that just because I have exchanged a few friendly SMSes a month ago, I am your new best friend. That I'm here to personally hold your hand. That I am here to show you, in miniscule baby step by baby step, how to do things.

Fuck that. I am not. Get a fucking backbone!

BDSM requires a great deal of consideration. A greal deal of thought. It is NOT "oh let me tie you up and fuck you". Oh sure, that's always fun. But fuck the wrong way, and you hurt your partner. Tie the wrong way, and you injure flesh. And you come across as a needy, selfish fucker.

If you read this and didn't realise that being polite and considerate COUNTS, then oh gods, please..... you're not ready to leave your mommy's apron strings yet.


Not by a fucking long shot!!

July Munch

** UPDATE! PLEASE READ! **
Location has been changed!

New venue :
1 Nite Stand Bar and Comedy Club
3 River Valley Road
Clarke Quary Black A
#01 - 04
Tel : 63341954
Reservation has been made for 8PM onwards. They will give us more space in the unlikely event that the crowd swells.

Apologies - Loof wouldn't let be do an indoor booking and their outdoor space is being taken by a private event until 9.30PM.

*****************************************

Haven't posted much lately but wanted to announce that there will be a munch this month....

That would be next Thursay (26 July) from 8PM onwards.Venue to remain at Loof because I simply haven't the time to suss out a new venue... although everyone seemed happy enough the last time :) Would anyone care to join me?

Loof is at http://loof.com.sg/rooftopbar/The address is 331 North Bridge Road #03-07 Odeon Towers Extension Rooftop and they can be reached @ 63388035. If you're walking in from City Hall, it's the short glassy building just before you encounter Bras Basah Complex and if that sounds strange, I would recommend checking out their website anyways for their map :o

Please email me if you'd like to clarify anything, I'd be happy to answer as best I can!

Why play? CAN you play?

How did you first find out you enjoyed BDSM?

Did you think you were a little mentally "off"? That perhaps there was something not quite right? Did you try and speak to people, or friends, only to find them recoiling when you described what REALLY turned you on?

I never spoke to my friends. My discovery was all online. Initially triggered by someone's handle on a chat room, I asked my Mentor about it. But it was a boot up the arse when he barked You're not ready!! Holy shit, you can't challenge me like that and I dived into anything I could get my hands online and surfed, researched, chatted and hung out with anyone BDSM linked for 2 years before I had my first session. Not everyone is like me, but a majority start out online, as I rather suspect.
*wry grin*
But I digress. The fact is that most people think of BDSM, in all it's glory, as something only the deranged enjoy.

I beg to differ. I TOTALLY beg to differ.

It means a lot of things to different people. The myriad levels of BDSM play are endless. But did it ever occur to you that you'd have to be pretty sexually evolved to enjoy your fun things?

For a submissive, it takes a lot to push through, to acknowledge that heck, being tied up and being punished are joys. I want that to happen. Do me! Do me! And for Dom/mes.... to let loose and realise you're not being maniacal about wanting that power.

And that is not the end of it. Along with all that inhibition comes a very high level of self awareness and responsibility. You're going to have to be much more conscious about this than most.

Example :
My ex was totally vanilla until he met me. He took to being a top because he had a natural inclination towards that direction but when we took out the ropes, he tied the knots to ensure no escape. Which.... to a certain extent, was the entire purpose. But the knots got tighter the more they were pulled. This is Not Good.

Blood circulation is important. Goes without saying! You don't want to cause any nerve damage either. You have to make sure the knots will be secure BUT will be able to be undone in the blink of an eye. You have to ensure said knots can't be over any major arteries or veins. If you want secure knots that can't come undone, then you need a pair of "safety scissors" close at hand. And this is WITHOUT suspension coming into the picture. Now, how many people think THOSE things?

I like to use the word evolved. Evolved because you've come to terms with what you like; evolved because you can see past social conditions and embrace your OWN passions; evolved because self awareness is learnt with a conscious effort; evolved because you set your own limits and responsibility.

And what I don't appreciate are people who think they can learn BDSM in an hour.
*rolls eyes*
You might have the inclination but diving in without any thought shows a recklessness that shouldn't be encouragedl; not with the possibility of being physically hurt!


Perhaps I should do safety awareness classes. lol.

Exchange

Interestingly enough, the leading editor of Bondage Guide found my wee corner and offered to exchange links. I rather suspect it's to drive traffic to his online shop, but what the hey, I agreed.

So pop by to the Love Shop and say hello. I haven't been yet, but heck, they might have something you like.


There, have I met my quota on blogging yet? lol

Sweet

Lots of things are sweet.

The wonderful feeling of helplessness from being bound, the slow blush when you're being probed and examined, the excitement and anticipation from... oh my... so many things. The one other thing that should be sweet ought to be ejaculate.
*wry grin*


Pop by here if you want the nitty gritty.

Back

Sorry to everyone who popped by, only to find nothing new.

There's been some personal drama in my life which needed to be resolved and blogging was really the last thing on my mind. Drama? From me?
*wry grin*
Yup. From me.
Partner and I broke up and I've been trying to find some closure. The full sordid story is on my other blog but on this one, suffice it to say that I'm back.


What did I miss?

It Speaks!

I suppose a bit of a self introduction is in order.

I'd consider myself somewhat experienced in the lifestyle though I think it hardly qualifys me to call subs "little one".

I'm mostly local, but allegedly part Japanese, depending on who you speak to in the family. Take myself far less seriously than I should which I suspect sometimes annoys the living daylights out of my esteemed fellow blogger but I like to think that she puts up with me for my dashing good looks and cutting wit.

I've probably been 'into' the lifestyle literally since I can remember but really got into it in my college years. There were loads of pervy people there. And seems like over the years what started out more as a captivation purely with S&M has given way to a penchant for domination and submission. Not to say that I've thrown away my ropes and floggers mind you.

And finally, any introduction would not be complete without a picture of my favourite riding crop which, a friend used to imaginatively nickname "Greenie" and was once unfortunately discovered by a customs official but survived the encounter nonetheless:


Be good y'all.

Shave

I love me a good shave.
Nice and baby smooth.
If I were me, I'd be touching me constantly. MMMmmmm.

No wait, scratch that last line.....

What I *will* tell you though, the UNglamourous side of things, is that maintaining a shave is a bitch.

New face

That's right, a new face.

I've got a good friend to co-author this blog with me because even though I'm a submissive, a Dom/me's view is important too. If anyone else would like me to post their articles/posts/stories, you know where to find me :)


Happy playing!

Aftermath

Well now. It's come and gone. The Mid Month Munch, as someone called it.

I confess I was totally blown away.
There was a much, much bigger turnout than I'd have ever expected. Pictures of the place itself are up here, if you want to check Loof out. But that's not what I want to share.

What I wanted to share was my fear of apathy.

Before I disappeared from the "scene", I used to regularly attend the monthly munches. At it's highest, I remember walking in on a bunch of about 30 people at the Alley Bar and being shocked. So many! It had only rather been about 10 - 15. I later discovered that most of them were male submissives (Dommes being the rarest of the rare *wry grin*) but it was heartening. After that though? Downhill all the way.

So when I took the plunge to gather people together, I had a lot of misgivings.

I don't know why people showed up, but I was glad. Actually, the words that come to mind are deliriously happy. Yay! People! Lots of new faces, happy to have met them! Old faces! A joy to be reunited!

We had all sorts turn up.... with the exception of one woman who told my friend that she went everywhere, including the grocery store, in her leathers and corsets.... well, we looked normal enough from the outside. *chuckles* As a matter of fact, one table across from us were all dressed up in fancy dress/club wear/strange clothing, complete with a shocking pink wig. As my chat partner of the moment quipped, We're the normal ones, eh? They're the freaks, yes?

I had a number of interesting conversations that day. From a lady who seemed to be just discovering the depths of her sexuality, to someone who seemed to take it all for fun, to someone with a rather unique fetish.

Although that last one.... I wondered later if that were genuine or if he was just testing people in general.... Nah, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, we're supposed to be open minded about it, yes? ;)

The point is I really enjoyed the moment. One long string of glorious moments. Each tied to a conversation with someone. To talk to all these people and see so many different viewpoints and perspectives. I am reminded of what I LOVE about my kinks. And I am reminded of what is real and how, frankly, some people can share my love of kink and have still hold diametrically opposite views from myself.
*shrugs*
There you go. Sexuality as wide as the sea.


I am a little troubled about some of the submissives, but I think I'll deal with that in another post.

Why sub?

Trying to organise the munch has certainly made me think a lot more about why I enjoy BDSM.

I've been out of it a long time.
About 3 years now.
Initially, it's been because my current partner is not based in Singapore and because things got serious, I remained faithful to him. But the last 6 months have..... well.... to cut a long story short, I need to revive my own interests. He may not be here, I may not be exactly looking for Dom partner, but the last I can start off with is to get in touch with the local community.

And tomorrow's munch and my contact with a few people has made me journey inwards. Sort of a step back to my roots. To rediscover why I enjoy this. Why do I enjoy submission? What is this all about anyways?

We start off, as in all good stories, at the beginning.
I had/have a tendency to date dominent men (NOT to be mistaken for DOMINEERING men) and wondered why this was so. And I realised my rockbottom desire was, in certain circumstances, to be able to be free. Free! What a wonderful word!

Free from always being in charge of myself, of being in control.
Free from personal responsibilities.
Free from holding myself in and watching my surrounds/environment and the people around me.
Free of the walls that social conditioning builds up in me.

I once went out with someone who wanted his woman to be totally dependant on him. He didn't want his woman to work, just stay home and look after him. This was when I had just started working for real. My own money, my own apartment, my own job, my own life. And I distinctly remember telling him Then why are you with me? I'm a modern woman! I still remember him, after 13 years. And as always, hindsight is 100% correct. He could see the core of me. It would be a year or two later that I would discover who this was going to be manifested.

No, I'm not a gold-digger!
But the point is that my core as a submissive is the freedom that comes when you surrender. When you give up control. When your environment, your desires, your sensations and emotions...... your very being.... is given up as an offering to someone who will take it, hold it, treasure it, mould it and protect it.


It's not called a Power Exchange for nothing.

Yay! A munch!

Ok, people.
12 April is the next time we're meeting. From 8PM onwards.

Venue for now (or until someone proposes somewhere more interesting) is Loof. Rooftop + chillout music = fairly promising!

I actually called them to make inquiries. No, not because I think they're going to pull a Union Bar act on me, but because I wanted to see if I could make reservations. And I can! No deposit needed, I'll just call on Mon or something. Which is great. We'll get comfy seats! If you intend to pop by, just ask for the table under my name.

You don't know my name?
Damn, just clicky clicky on the Vanilla Me link on the right.... that's the other half of me! *chuckles* :)

If you want to check Loof out, they're at http://loof.com.sg/rooftopbar/
The address is 331 North Bridge Road #03-07 Odeon Towers Extension Rooftop and they can be reached @ 63388035. It's the short glassy building just before you encounter Bras Basah Complex and if that sounds strange, I would recommend checking out their website anyways for their map :o

I've tried to consider parking and public transport and I think this place is all right. Parking is round the corner at Bras Basah Complex itself. And the closest train station is City Hall. You can't get more central than that!

Please come.
It'll be open, friendly and safe. No props, no costumes, no weird shit to freak you out, especially if you haven't come for a munch before. lol. Just like minded people gathering together. A chance for you to pick each other's brains, share stories if you have the inclination, or just sit and enjoy the company.


There's a reason this blog is called Local Kink and it's not just about me :)